Weekend in PA

Broad Street Market Harrisburg

Amazon FedEx Ground Crispy Chicken Strips Mazda Subaru Chevy Hyundai UPS day lilies widening the highway tree stumps deer on its side judging mind Ford Tesla Rocky Mountain Chocolate Toyota traffic slow for no seen reason sedan SUV truck sedan sedan SUV I’m a lucky man to live in my building SUV SUV truck tired left turn off the highway narrow streets crawl for parking low-grade worry red brick humid cigarette scent black raspberries cherries fat ginger root sunflower seeds dried kiwi cherubic girl in a white bonnet unsmiling all out of sea moss smoothies and some other kind I don’t care about peanut butter cups in unimagined combinations melting Indian Bangladesh African Korean Burmese wish I had skipped breakfast huge sharp fans in the ceiling whole fish cut fish sweet corn and bean stew sweet potato noodles summer rolls three ways rice cakes canned boba LGBTQI espresso oatmeal and molasses and white chocolate chunk and monster cookies thick radishes chunky carrots kale and chard crisp stand at attention third planet is sure it’s being watched hot half sour dill pickles pickled garlic canned pear peach salmon and coconut and toasted cheese and peanut butter and sweet potato and grain-free dog biscuits outside cooler air still singing

after lunch the next day


the shine of my copper pen a bluebird chasing a chickadee from the white birdhouse rabbit crouching low as I walk the dog doesn’t see her then speeding away street corn flatbread Harvest Grill s’mores dessert cup rows of daylilies again and again by homes the side of the highway the forest ripe raspberries tattooed lady selling dog treats smiling my back not hurting too much helping mom set up for the food bank distribution with Rachael volunteering us the folks enjoying the nuts nut butter dried jackfruit we brought down telling and hearing the same stories seeing dad improved some of Lori’s bread for breakfast sleeping better the second night they’re still using the bidet seat I recommended yesterday getting down on a single charge glad the folks watch less network news finding some old books to read once or again getting some decent writing done

back home from the old home


a dog barking in the complex nonstop for how long now why does it bother me so much why does it jump inside and start barking at my heart split my head but I hope that dog has a good life what else can I do what would it be like if I could control all the dogs in my heart somehow worse I’m sure am I sad to leave the folks 200 miles away with no career in the north am I worried about my own creeping doom inferred from their eyes am I ripping someone off talking like this but who I can’t remember might as well write some more right and then the neighbor on the other side of the wall music for hours bass thud you can hear commercials this guy still listens to commercial radio I shouldn’t judge what does it matter but why not use headphones still I don’t know his whys and whatevers fucking autocorrect why can’t there be silence when I want it and something else when I want something else but that’s a child’s mind I know but I can say what I want does venting help or does it dig the hole well deeper well

it should be more than cotton
candy though I lack
a recipe my hands have just
this tiny pen filled with
latency and the ladder is rotten

how many more nights

the sun bobs up and down
I look the other way that burning
you say it’s the weekend well why
not warp the mirror a little more

I can’t remember
why I entered this race

and I want to go to war with
each slender shadow

my feet must be cut from my shoes as soon

as the sun returns some color to those skulls

from under a rock hear me sing and walk on

What solar-powered syntax will break through the city’s thick walls later wielding a heavy pen he stumbles never to blink again

But the pen won’t start so the precious possibility with a suitcase secretly packed disappears beyond the hill

Where the music comes from on those nights though despite his best attempts we left feeling as though we hadn’t eaten at all

I lift the pen but why my eyes slide down this poison face

but the sound of a bird I can’t
the glow of the sun
sinking what
else can I say

I waited too long and they’re already cleaning up so I grab some trash and throw it away they tell me to keep moving

when I slept in the forest those long years between research grants

salad days between immunity and editing

people always said I gave up too easily and mostly through song for some reason but that’s really none of my business you see I’m only paid to write these instruction manuals

leafing at monster cello sorry 
it’s these new plant-based teeth
 
and the weight of this uniform from lack of sasquatch in the spring
 
did you see it that time like a flash of silver at the corner of your eye but never mind it was nice to see you again and we really should get together and no that’s OK I have utensils at home

some cloudy mornings it’s the feel of the favorite pen in your hand you charge off not caring about a cracked phone screen the band-aid covering bone the stomp of the neighbor through the ceiling hope and calm caught in little chunks we string together to make a necklace though perhaps even that was a way to dig down to the level of the excavation you needed to see with its as yet untranslated script and inscrutable editorial cartoons which they say

the flowers this year will be late and unequivocal